Should I Stay Or Should I Go? New Job Offer

An interesting situation has arisen. As a bit of a background, with the saving for the trip to Italy in 2017 and lately with the extra expenses for Christmas, there isn’t a lot left at the end of the month. But the accounting firm that I work for has offered me a position in their main office – in Sydney. Darwin to Sydney is a huge move, not just in distance, but lifestyle as well.

The pay is substantially better, and even after accounting for the high cost of living in Sydney, it would be much easier to save for our holiday in Italy. I have to admit that I do miss what’s on offer in a large city since leaving Melbourne, but I am having second thoughts whether I should take this job  offer  or  not. Over the school holidays my relationship with my son has been improving and he’s made friends with some boys on the AFL team who I think are a good influence for him. So, given all that I’m wondering if it is the right time to make him change schools just for the a higher paying job. Is it worth it?

I have thought about what it would be like in Sydney. I know that I’ll have a higher salary, which means that I can indulge on the things that I want to get for myself and my son. However, all of those may not be worth it if I am going to destabilise my son again and we might not get the same sense of community that we have here in Darwin. Even though this year was disrupting for my son, I’ve seen him doing well with this school work and he’s really getting interested in joining the AFL team.

I could talk with him about this if he is fine with it though. If  he  is  really  okay  with  it,  and  if  I see  that  he  really does  feel  fine,  I will  take  on  the  job  offer.  My  son is my priority after all.

Rugby League Or AFL For A 13 Year Old


Following the recent incidents with my son, I thought about letting him play a sport he likes. I decided to be more open about it and never to judge what he chooses in the end. But you know how most mothers are these days – don’t we ever get worried seeing our kids injure themselves? The thought that they have to go to a hospital to have stitches or not being able to go to school because they need to heal? I just don’t want to get my son hurt when he is participating in a sport. But if I deprive him of what he wants, will I be making things worse? Maybe being on a team with his peers is just what he needs.

So I asked him about what kind of sport he wants to play – I know he likes to watch basketball, but my mind went blank when he said he wanted to play rugby league. A few boys his age at school play rugby league, but isn’t football kind of a dangerous sport for kids? I have seen videos about accidents with football, and they are even amongst the veterans. It wasn’t a good one to watch. But then, this almost always happens to every aggressive sport like football.

I did my own research regarding whether I should let my son join the local rugby team. He said that he really likes football, so as a parent, I need to find out if it’s as dangerous a sport as it seems.

I found a site that compares the pros and cons of letting kids join football. I read the disadvantages first so that I can balance it out well with the advantages later on. The one that took my attention right away is that kids are exposed to concussions, meaning that they are at a high risk. According to this article, rugby league players sustain 40 injuries per 1000 hours of playing and most of them are ligament and joint injuries, which is very similar to soccer. However,  head injury is a very obvious risk that kids face when they play rugby unlike soccer. Some of these injuries, too, according to the doctors can have long lasting effects on the kids. While short term effects of concussions only creates a few bits of problem with the memory, vomiting, nausea and confusion, the repeated concussions over time can cause brain damage. Even just a single concussion can cause long-lasting issues which makes me hesitant to let my son join the rugby league team.

So, I started looking into AFL and being from Melbourne it’s what I know and love. I couldn’t find the same injury rate data to compare directly to rugby league, but I did find this report ( which shows the types of injury and how common they are. The most common injury is hamstring strain, followed by groin strain and ankle sprain. I’d feel a lot better about him playing AFL than rugby league.

AFL is very popular up here in Darwin but I don’t think my son had really considered it. I know a few parents of boys in the local AFL team who I think would be a good influence. I know I can’t just tell him he can’t play rugby, so I’ve been watching the AFL matches on TV (go Hawks!) to try and spark some interest in him… seems to be working!

Electric Scooter – The Perfect Pressie!

My son’s 13th birthday is coming up soon. Granted, he’s been a bit of a handful lately, but I know he’s a good kid and he deserves something nice. The past few weeks I was struggling to find something and I know as a mother it is unforgivable not knowing what he really wants! You’d think he’d be dropping hints like crazy but he’s not given me any real clues so far. I have seen him checking out the neighbour’s electric scooter and I have to admit it looks like fun – but what do I know about them! It isn’t so hard to find an electric scooter, but for my son I wanted the best electric scooter I could get my hands on.

I can now call myself a bit of an expert after spending a few evenings researching! Basically there are 2 types – lower powered scooters with hard wheels, and higher powered scooters with inflatable tyres. My first thought was that the high powered electric scooters would be very dangerous for kids. Me and my over thinking brain – the boys love adventure, and I’m sure if I get him anything but the fastest he’ll be disappointed. And besides, speaking to my neighbour, his boy hasn’t had any accidents on his electric scooter to worry about. I trust my son that he is able to take care of himself since he will be 13 soon and being at that age, they are already aware on how careful they need to be when riding fast. Sure, accidents can happen but with a helmet and ridden in a safe environment (ie. not on the street) the risk is much lower.

So, what did I find out about electric scooters? From what I can tell, the most popular brand is Razor and they also seem to be the easiest to purchase. There are a number of models in the Razor range, so I found this article the most helpful to decide on the best one to buy –

It was really between the E300 (the biggest & fastest) or the RX200 which is suitable to take off road, or on dirt anyway. I thought the model which could go on dirt would be the most durable, but I have to admit that my son is growing fast! I’d hate to buy what is a fairly expensive present for him to grow out of it a year or 2 later… so of course I had to buy the E300.

I’m sure he’ll love it!


A Mum’s Fear – Falling In With The Wrong Crowd


With my son’s first year in high school this year I hoped like all parents that he would spend his time at school with the right people. Unfortunately, what I feared the most was already happening. I have heard accounts from other parents that he and a couple of other boys have been skipping school. I couldn’t believe it at first and thought it wouldn’t happen with him because I know I raised him the right way. But as I’ve heard this a couple of times, I could no longer contain my doubts. So I observed him.

I never really noticed, because of my day job, that my son was already displaying behavior that I could not understand. I thought it was just frustration from school because I have been there before. I thought that he was just having a difficult time adjusting to a new school and being a small fish in a big pond. Speaking to some other parents I’m not the only one concerned as there seems to be a small minority of boys who are leading others astray.

It is against my principles to confront my son without evidence, so I did my own investigation by taking some personal time from work and found him in a local park smoking when he should have been at school! It was something that I could not accept. I knew I raised my son well. I know that very well and yet I cannot stand the fact that all my efforts into encouraging him to work hard do the right thing seemed to have no effect. What is he thinking? Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make him do this?

It was then the time to confront him but at the same time I was keeping myself level-headed because if I accused him right away, it will only result into an argument neither would win.

He kept avoiding the subject every time I wanted to talk to him about school, to the point that he yelled at me. It was the first time he yelled. I was very surprised and it got me scared, too. I never thought my son would do that to me. I don’t know what to do after that. My approaches were meaningless. Recently it’s gotten to the point that I could no longer communicate well with my son.

I’m currently saving for a trip to Italy to take my son to meet his extended family in 18 month’s time, so I really hope things improve before then. I remember going over there a few times when I was young to see my mother’s cousins in the Riviera dei Cedri region and loved it so much. This blog is my diary leading up to that.

I’m sure not having his father around isn’t helping, but I have decided that I won’t give up. I’m going to reach out to my son knowing that there is a reason why he is doing this. I know deep down he knows better and right now I don’t know what that reason is, but I’m going to do my best to find out what it really is.