A Mum’s Fear – Falling In With The Wrong Crowd

smoking

With my son’s first year in high school this year I hoped like all parents that he would spend his time at school with the right people. Unfortunately, what I feared the most was already happening. I have heard accounts from other parents that he and a couple of other boys have been skipping school. I couldn’t believe it at first and thought it wouldn’t happen with him because I know I raised him the right way. But as I’ve heard this a couple of times, I could no longer contain my doubts. So I observed him.

I never really noticed, because of my day job, that my son was already displaying behavior that I could not understand. I thought it was just frustration from school because I have been there before. I thought that he was just having a difficult time adjusting to a new school and being a small fish in a big pond. Speaking to some other parents I’m not the only one concerned as there seems to be a small minority of boys who are leading others astray.

It is against my principles to confront my son without evidence, so I did my own investigation by taking some personal time from work and found him in a local park smoking when he should have been at school! It was something that I could not accept. I knew I raised my son well. I know that very well and yet I cannot stand the fact that all my efforts into encouraging him to work hard do the right thing seemed to have no effect. What is he thinking? Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make him do this?

It was then the time to confront him but at the same time I was keeping myself level-headed because if I accused him right away, it will only result into an argument neither would win.

He kept avoiding the subject every time I wanted to talk to him about school, to the point that he yelled at me. It was the first time he yelled. I was very surprised and it got me scared, too. I never thought my son would do that to me. I don’t know what to do after that. My approaches were meaningless. Recently it’s gotten to the point that I could no longer communicate well with my son.

I’m currently saving for a trip to Italy to take my son to meet his extended family in 18 month’s time, so I really hope things improve before then. I remember going over there a few times when I was young to see my mother’s cousins in the Riviera dei Cedri region and loved it so much. This blog is my diary leading up to that.

I’m sure not having his father around isn’t helping, but I have decided that I won’t give up. I’m going to reach out to my son knowing that there is a reason why he is doing this. I know deep down he knows better and right now I don’t know what that reason is, but I’m going to do my best to find out what it really is.

 

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